At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
