So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
