the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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