Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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