When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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