I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Randomize