And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
