Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize