I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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