i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
