Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry skittlesteggie26 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(248): View more from Michigan

did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.

Fav 6 1713 972
share tweet
(310): View more from California

you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.

Fav 21 5548 1224
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(914): View more from New York

Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.

Fav 8 987 7106
share tweet
(807): View more from Ontario

I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.

Fav 46 7734 1415
share tweet
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early

Fav 62 7455 1358
share tweet
(740): View more from Ohio

It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.

Fav 18 1264 5038
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(760): View more from California

Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty

Fav 11 2893 1746
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(519): View more from Ontario

How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?

Fav 3 580 700
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(202): View more from Washington, DC

Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.

Fav 0 127 18
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT