i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
