Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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