your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
