Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
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My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
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He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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