you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
