the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
