U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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