THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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