he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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