But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
