I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
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