how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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