I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize