So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
