I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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