Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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