One girl and one boy is just not enough.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize