i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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