u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
