you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
