Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I have feelings that need drinking.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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