Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
