I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
