So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
where am i from again
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
