I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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