you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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