Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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