It's just like the Real World with babies
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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