so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
