Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize