I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Randomize