We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
