I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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