she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
