Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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