you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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