'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have feelings that need drinking.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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