For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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