At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I think your dad took our porno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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