im about as happy as oj after his trial
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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