Porn is love you can see.
the condom got lost in my hair
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
