Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
