My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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