marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
