Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
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