That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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