and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
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My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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